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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

 

A woman trying to get her head round football!

This post made me smile. I don't normally go off about ather blogs unless they have a relevance to the main topic here but things are a bit quiet. This blog is from an Indonesian woman living in Aberdeen (which is in Scotland, that funny bit above England.) She has a good style, you can find more of her here, but this particular thread she bemoans being a footballing widow!

But I have nothing against football, as long as I don't have to watch it. In fact, I think I've found a recipe for guys to make peace between football and a lovely girlfriend/wife: (my comments come after)
Have more than one TV and put them in different rooms. So you guys can watch football match in the living room and the girl can watch E! News in the bedroom, or vice versa. Better still, she can buy her own TV instead of buying nonsense handbags that all look the same and asking what we think! Of course it's blody nice, just show me it at half time!

Everytime you watch football, your girl entitles to indulge herself on shopping trip. Your treat, of course. So you could sit and watch the match in peace, drinking beer, putting your feet up on the coffee table, picking nose, and farting, without having someone else reminds you to behave. No problem from me on that one. Working wives should have some independence.

Or better, without having someone asking where Jose Mourinho is or why David Beckham is not playing tonight with MU or why there is a guy with flag in every corner.... See above

You must do something nice prior to the match i.e. cook dinner, accompany the girl for grocery shopping, etc. Yes, it's like a bribery. Or even visit the in laws. That's credit in the bank for at least 6 months.

Never, ever, force your girl to watch the game with you, no matter how important the game is. Believe me, most sane guys would rather visit the dentist. The thought of sitting next to someone screaming like a fan at a Bay City Rollers is not most guy's idea of fun.

Unless you're sure that she's a football junkie as well. Unless you're up for a risk of going to search a perfect party dress for next month's event together with the girl in 7 different malls and hundreds different clothing shops. Feel free to go to all the malls you want. Just pick me up at Eastern Promise when you've finished. Already? That was quick dear, can I just have one more...

Never try to explain the difference between Champions League and Premier Leagues, unless you're ready to know the difference between platform and wedges, or between maroon and burgundy, or between pouch and wallet. I won't even try explaining the offside law. There is a beauty and complexity about sport that is lacking in the average chat about shoes. We're talking space shuttles here, asteroids...way over your head!

Record the game and watch it while she's sleeping. Remember what I said about beauty and complexity?

Do not dare to watch the game while eating but not paying attention to what she's cooked. Unless you're ready to buy her a Louis Vuitton Lockit bag or worse, take her out for dinner every single night for the rest of the year because she refuses to do it again (come to think about it again, LV bag turns out to be much cheaper than 10 times dinner at 4 Seasons...). A bag's a bag...you wouldn't know the real thing from a 20 dollar rip off bought in KL. Remember all those business trips?

You might try to repeat the story of your favorite team's victory. But be prepared to hear the victory of your girl of finding a vintage Fendi for 20 pounds. I don't bother. The ejaculatory experience of Micky Thomas, one minute and it's up for grabs is wasted on blank faces caught between the latest LV or Burberry bag.


Comments:
Very cheeky:)

Like the image of you sitting in EP and drinking (hopefully a lot, and not for free, and not cheap bintang), waiting for your girl to come back after shopping (I hope for minimum 8 hours a day).

The more you spend in EP, the better for me!

Oh, I'm sure you'd be able to find the connection between your visits to EP and its benefits for me. We're not talking about space shuttles and asteroids here, just 6 degrees of separation.

Cheers :)
 
snigger

seriously...good blog you have there, i v e passed it on to my missus...
 
JC, just want to update you in between my shopping time for new LV bag, that I post my comment on football, commenting yours. You might want to leave the audible snigger this time, beside, it's tasteless without your feisty defence on on football.

PS: sincerely hope you 're a good regular in EP and spend fortune there. My LV bags depend on your spend.
 
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